Updates

I'm not really sure how many people still actually come to Aidan's blog, but if you do here is a little update on what we have been up to.

December was a pretty rough month. We were so looking forward to Christmas with a new baby. While out Christmas shopping we bought some presents that we would have bought for Aidan but instead donated them to families who for one reason or another might not have been able to have a Christmas morning. We also bought Aidan a little Christmas tree that is still up lol. We decorated it with glittering snowflakes and angel ornaments. We spent the holidays with our families even though all we really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and forget they were even happening. Our motto for the coming new year was, "well it could only get better"

With January swiftly approaching we were looking forward to, yet dreading our flight out to Minnesota. We figured this month would be a great time to finally start going to the Share Meetings. Share is a support group for families that have lost children. One good moment was when a person at the meeting said that yes we could stay in our beds and cry all day but is that what our child would want us to be doing? I thought that was a great way to look at things: What would Aidan want us to be doing? He was such a happy baby (as long as he was getting all the attention lol) would he really want us to be so sad?
Being back in Minnesota was bittersweet. It was so familiar, it was like a second home because we have such great memories from the week that we had Aidan at the Ronald McDonald House and it felt like we really hadn't been gone that long, even though it had been four months. Wow four months, I can't believe it has been that long. But at the same time we knew we left with horrible last memories. I swore I never wanted to come back to the state. Entering the hospital, knowing that it would be the first time going there when we wouldn't be visiting Aidan was tough. After meeting with the hospital we got no more answers than we came with. We will forever never fully understand why Aidan has gone onto Heaven or what happened. After the meeting we were allowed to go back to the PICU and see if there were any nurses there that we wanted to say hello to. Walking past the room that Aidan had spent over a month in, I blew him a kiss and put it where the picture of him used to be outside the door. The child that was in his cubicle of the room was a child that had been there while Aidan was and he was going to be getting ready to go home soon. None of our "favorite nurses" were on shift during the time, but there were so many familiar faces. We didn't get to do a whole lot of walking around the campus because of the weather, although if you asked anyone who lived in Minnesota they would say that we were there during a heat wave; one of the news casters was actually outside with no jacket on! lol.

Something to look forward to is: in the middle of February we will be going to Disneyland for a few days. We are going to be taking some of Aidan's ashes with us so that he can be there with us. Currently i'm trying to do some research to find the perfect spot for us to sprinkle some ashes while we are there. Anyone who has been there and can offer a suggestion it would be greatly appreciated although i'm sure Mike and I will find the perfect spot while we are there and just know that its THE SPOT. hehe. That's all for now

Just Babysitting

I got this idea from a website and I thought it was such a cute yet sad idea so Mike and I wrote our own letter.

Dear God,
This is just a little letter to go over some rules of the agreement while you babysit our little boy. Here are a few points to remember.
1. Please make sure Aidan gets Eskimo kisses everyday. Don't be surprised if he tries to eat your nose, that is a game that he and his Daddy like to play.
2. Tell Aidan that Mommy loves him right up to the moon and back. I read him bedtime stories and Guess How Much I Love You is his favorite.
3. If Aidan becomes inconsolable, two things that calm him down without fail are his Fisher Price Jungle Crib Soother- he loves watching the monkey swing back and forth and his big green pacifier- you might have to add a bit of Sweet-Ease.
4. Please take Aidan for stroller rides to the park. While there push him on the swings and let him play in the sandbox for just one minute longer because all kids just want one more minute.
5. Every little boy needs a dog, so make sure he gets to play with Dakota. Aidan has lots of energy but Dakota could definitely keep up with him.
6. Make sure Aidan isn't a picky-eater. Without an esophagus he never got to taste food before so it might take awhile for him to get used to it.
7. Get Aidan a really great computer and teach him all there is to know about them just like Daddy wanted to.
8. You will need to stock up on batteries because we want lots of pictures to look at when we pick him up one day. We don't want to miss a single thing.
9. Please let Aidan look upon the world and check in on us and everyone else that loves him to make sure that we are okay. And lastly,
10. Like I said we have an agreement and you are ONLY to BABYSIT him until we get there. After we do, don't worry Mommy and Daddy can handle the job.
Thank you God for taking care of our little angel until we can see him again.